Down to Earth

(                     Do I Understand?                     )



Reverence? I am never without it.

Even when I am witnessing things that others believe to be baneful by nature, I see wonder and beauty. Even for the simplest and most mundane, I am in awe.

What others consider normal or their right, I consider the greatest of blessings, the most stirring of insights, the most fulfilling experiences, the strangest of perspectives.
Always I see that things are beyond their appearance, hints of the divine in all, or else a knowledge of the infinite and the limits of our own awakening.
Always things are seen as reflections connections and aspects of other things. Of sides and microcosms of the entirety. In single components I perceive a window that opens to the whole. Of words that are both mere pieces of greater works, but also dazzling truths within their own right.
I am obsessed with purity and the central essence of things. I am surrounded everywhere with truth and possibility so that I am paralyzed with the meaning of it all.
I see it in the world and I see the world in myself.
Sometimes I am enlivened by the pure understanding, sometimes I am thrown into paralysis by the enormity of it all.
I live for merely understanding fully what I see before me. I live for the comprehension of what is.
I drive and am pulled by it, and my view and the world is illuminated by that shining reality.
I tear down falsity and live freely because of doctrines of "enough."
I realize how small the necessities and how vast the potential in every direction.
I accept the imperfections and rejoice in how they can only enhance existence.
I learn secrets of life and being. I am torn by knowledge that everything is unique and irreplaceable. I am a small flicker in a brilliant star. I imagine how far beyond even the greatest understanding the elegance of the universe is, and of the unapproachable wild extremes at the furthest reaches of every spectrum.
And for every unknown beyond us, there is obvious beauty is everything. Beauty which we have forgotten to perceive.
I am always grateful to glimpse what is, to appreciate what I have lived, to experience contentment in myself and the world, and to feel things fully. I want to know truth and exile illusion.

I am tranquil and distant, because opposite to opposite, I am enraptured in living.

I look at myself, doing this, and think it must be the final answer. I think this life is too beautiful, or too grand, or too perfect for there to be anything more.
I am reminded of what beauty beyond belief I am constantly surprised by. Not merely imagined, but actually taken part in.
I cannot believe that still there is so much more, when I have experienced so much already.

Is it only because I am content, that I believe I see real divinity? Or is this complacency an ignorant comfort?
Neither and both. It serves me well and gives things unattainable with other perceptions. It also is not as perfect as I had first imagined.
I was confused and now am mostly glad to know that, here too, is more for me to know. I do not like the simplistic and exaggerated self-congratulations it implies, but there is a tumultuous energy lingering at the center of this.


I refer to Jem and Kimi Ni Todoke.


So;
it has been the satisfaction of my existence to always cherish the moment,
but so too has it been my fierce thirst to always seek more.